Tag Archives: self-worth

In the Midst of Motherhood

I have already mentioned in a previous post that I haven’t made any New Years resolutions this year. I don’t see the point as it’s just too much pressure to try and keep one. Especially when you’re the parent of small children, right?

Instead, I’m focusing on one word (midst) which I hope will keep me centred throughout the year. This is the first post that I am writing, which focuses on this word, and I hope to write one each month for the rest of the year.

I, of all people, should be thankful for my children. It took me 5 years to conceive to have my first, and she was nothing short of a miracle when she came into this world. But do you know what? This parenting lark is hard. Oh my word! Hard is an understatement.

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We Were Intentionally Made

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

Our God is an intentional God. When He does things, it’s not by accident.  He intends to do them. This also applies to ourselves. I was not made by accident. I was not some random passing thought. God intentionally created me. He intentionally created you too.

I know what you might be thinking (coz I think this too sometimes)…

Hang on a minute. Me? He intended to create me? God created me on purpose?

Yes! You are not by accident.

I find this hard to grasp at times depending on what I am feeling and what situations I go through. On a good day I’ll accept He fearfully and wonderfully made me just the way I am. He will use me just as He intended to further the works for His Kingdom.

Continue reading We Were Intentionally Made

You Are Worth Your Weight In Gold

IMG_8819.PNGApparently, we are made in God’s image…Did you know that? Also, there is not one person on this earth that is exactly like you? I guess that makes us a little unique then.

Me? Created in God’s image though? Seriously? With everything I have been through it must have been some image! And it’s a pretty good job that there is no-one else like me…I mean, can you imagine having two of me?

I’m guessing this is what some of you must be thinking when you read that you are made in God’s image, or that you are unique. I want to tell you something though, and I want you to listen very carefully. Come in closer.

You. Are. Worth. It.

Have I got your attention, or are you just shrugging your shoulders? I’ll let you in on a little secret…I use to shrug my shoulders too when someone would tell me that I am worth it.

Ok…I still do…a little.

Ok…hands up…maybe a lot!


This is a journey, right? And you don’t arrive at your destination at the click of your fingers, although that would be nice so that we can skip out all the bumpy rides. Life isn’t like that though, is it?

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those “hey you, listen up” blogs and that I’m going to tell you how amazing you are…and then expect you to believe me…and change the way you think about yourself. I’m not going to expect you to do that as I don’t do it myself.

Do you know what made me realise that I was worth it though? It was hearing the story of Jesus giving His life on the cross. Yeah, I know, it’s the same old story…it never changes each year I hear it. But this year was different. It was me that changed.

It really hit me that God really does love me.  It didn’t matter to Him what I had been through in my past and how imperfect I was, and still am.

He.  Loved.  Me.

He loves me just the way that I am, even with my broken pieces.  Guess what?  He loves you too…just the way you are…warts an’ all!

Romans 5:8   But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Changing the way you think takes time. Knowing that truth in your head is one thing, but believing it in your heart is another and funnily enough, there isn’t a switch inside your heart that you can flick when you truly want to believe something.

I knew the story inside out about how Jesus came to this Earth to save us all from our sins. Knowing the story and truly believing it with all your heart are two different concepts though.

Isaiah 43:4   Because you are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.

I have no firm answers, or a step by step plan to offer on how to believe that you are worth it. All I know is that we need to keep an open heart. The more your heart is open, the more it can be filled with the truth…The truth that you are loved…you are precious…you are valued…you are worth your weight in gold.

The more your heart is open, the more it can be filled with the truth...you are worth your weight in gold. Click To Tweet

 

Something to think about

If you are struggling at the moment at knowing how worthy you are, try this…get a post-it note or a piece of paper and write down your qualities. It maybe that you are kind and generous, or that you are compassionate and caring. Whatever it is…write it down.

Everyone has worthy qualities. Ask a close friend if you are really struggling. Keep that note with you or pinned up somewhere you can see it. Next time you feel you are in a situation where you feel unworthy, look at it and remind yourself that you have worthy qualities.

Prayer

Lord, help me to have an open heart that can be filled with your Truth today. Help me to believe that I am loved. I am precious. I am valuable. And I am worth my weight in gold. Amen

 

You are reading a Five Minute Friday word prompt. This is hosted by Kate Motaung and is where a group of people write about a given word for that week. I am a little late to the party, so this was last weeks word prompt write, which was “worth”. (Everything before the line break shows what I wrote in five minutes.)  If you are interested in taking part or reading other people’s inspiring writes, then hop on over to the site.

How much is enough?

You are reading a Five Minute Friday word prompt. This is hosted by Kate Motaung and is where a group of people write about a given word for that week. This week the word is “enough”. // marks what I wrote in 5 minutes.

//I am what I am. What you see is what you get. This is my “northern way” and what I often tell people. Usually it’s because I don’t want them to judge me for anything with what they see in front of them.

I want to look tough on the outside and like nothing bothers me. But deep down I am thinking “am I enough? Is what you see in front of you enough?” I put on an act as though I am enough, and that I wouldn’t care less if you didn’t think I was.

But deep down I am scared to show you the real me. Because I am scared that the real me is not enough. The real me that is sensitive deep down and that I cling on to what other people say because it matters to me. The real me that is exhausted with looking for people’s approval just so that I feel enough.//

Isaiah 43:4
“Since you’re precious in my sight and honored, and because I love you, I’m giving up people in your place, and nations in exchange for your life.”

Do you know what I try and cling onto though, as a Christian? (Notice I said try…because I often fail at this!) Because of Jesus and what He has done for me…

I. Am. Enough.

When I ask God if He loves me and how much He loves me, I am always reminded of this answer that was penned by someone else…

I asked Jesus, ‘How much do you love me?’ And Jesus said, ‘This much.’ Then He stretched out His arms and died.  Unknown

I pray for each and every person reading this, as we approach Easter, that we remember the reason why we are enough.

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Who is in control?

When someone offers to help you, what do you do? Do you…

a) Say thank you, but no thank you. I am perfectly capable of doing this all on my own. I mean seriously, do you think I can’t do this or something?

b) Say thank you, but then moan about the support you get because it’s not how you would have done it.

c) Say thank you, but then feel so worthless because you couldn’t do it yourself in the first place.

How would I answer?

Honestly?

Probably all three.

I have to be in control. Why? Because I need to know what happens…how it happens…and when it happens. I need to plan in my mind every eventuality that would take place in every situation. I don’t like not knowing what is going to happen…or not happen as the case may be.

Maybe this stems from my childhood…not knowing when my abuser was going to turn up and what “game” he would play next. Or, not knowing what I was going to face the next day at school with my “friends” in the playground. Or, not knowing if what I had achieved was ever going to be good enough.

For me, there are so many different aspects as to why I have to be in control.

Control is about self worth in one aspect.  I feel weak if I let people help me. And if they do help me, I don’t feel worthy of receiving the help (this is the part where I don’t like myself so much…so why should God love me…and therefore why should I let Him help me). Letting other people help will also show my inadequacies and that actually I’m probably pretty rubbish at what I do.

This is what the Bible says though…

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I am trying hard to hold on to this  I’m not perfect though, which leads me on to the next aspect of why I have to be in control…

Control is about doing something well and doing it perfectly. As a perfectionist, giving control over to someone else who does things differently to me is not the idea of being perfect. I have such a hold up about the way people do things. It is not how I would do it. Does this make it wrong though? In reality? No, it doesn’t

Also, if I let someone else take control, they will either get it wrong, let me down or create more stress for me. Or will they?

How someone else does something may not be how I do it, but ultimately we both end up in the same place, but we just took a different route to each other. Does it really matter how we got there?

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As for letting God take control, well, that’s a completely different thing altogether. Not knowing what His plans are is the hardest bit, and trusting Him with my life? Well, that’s a whole new ball game altogether! Trust and faith play a key role in letting Him do His stuff, and when you’ve had a past like mine, it’s hard to let go.

But, I think the main thing is that I am trying.