I know all too well the weight of silence and the stigma of shame with being a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). However, the shame is not mine to hold. It is time to break the silence. With that in mind, yesterday, I donned on my #notmyshame t-shirt with a sense of purpose.
I shared on social media an insight into why I wore my t-shirt…click here to view it.
As I nervously stepped through the hospital doors, I felt a sense of pride as I thought about the change I might spark. The words emblazoned on my chest felt like an outcry against the shadows of shame.
As I navigated my way through the hospital, I noticed the glances, the curious whispers, and the hesitant stares. But I stood tall and remembered the purpose of wearing my t-shirt. Yesterday was not about hiding; it was about breaking the silence.
In the Waiting Room
I could feel the different reactions towards what I was wearing. No-one spoke a word. They didn’t need to. In my mind I hoped for conversations to spark. I could see what they wanted to say in their eyes.
One nurse softened her face towards me and her eyes seemed to be filled with empathy. A gentleman with his eyes wide open looked to be in shock. When I caught a glimpse of him staring, his head quickly turned with that “stiff British upper-lip” look on him that resonated with disdain.
My name was called. As I entered the room I could see in the doctor’s eyes that he was a little uncomfortable about my message. But amidst all of this, there was a small change that surfaced. When it came to examining me, the doctor without question, called in the nurse to chaperone me. This has never been asked of me before. For the first time, I felt there was a seed of awareness that had been planted in his mind and it made him recognise that I had a need.
For the first time, I felt there was a seed of awareness that had been planted in his mind and it made him recognise that I had a need. Click To TweetFor the first time, although I didn’t speak, I felt heard. In those moments, I felt a sense of power knowing that wearing the t-shirt had ignited a sense of understanding. The journey towards breaking the chains of shame is not without its hurdles, but with every moment I wear the #notmyshame t-shirt, it gives me strength and paves the path for others to follow and break the silence.
On the 1st May 2024 the NotMyShame global movement will mark the power of authentic voices from around the world, turning the tables on the silence and shame of Child Sexual Abuse. To learn more about this movement please click here.
