I clearly remember what happened to me when I was 3 years old and the shame that came with it. Some people say this is far too young to remember specific details.
I disagree.
I remember what my room was like and where furniture was positioned. Every detail of what was done by a man I didn’t know is still in my mind. I vividly remember the shame felt when I spoke of what was done.
Continue reading Shame – From the Eyes of a Three Year Old
There is a subject that is rarely spoken about. It affects so many people in numerous ways, especially in churches. Don’t we deserve to be free from what holds us down? Then why avoid tackling a subject that holds so many people in chains? As a church, God calls us to bind up the broken hearted and set the captives free.
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners.” Isaiah 61:1
Personally, I feel God is calling me to take a stand against this “taboo” word.
Well, if you haven’t read any of my posts before, then this may come as a shock. (I touched on the subject in my previous post). I am taking a stand for those who have been sexually abused. Especially for those who suffered when they were children, just as I was.
Far too many people feel ashamed when they suffer abuse and stay silent. Why should they? It wasn’t their fault. So, I have decided to step up, stand up and speak out and be a voice for those who feel they don’t have a voice.
I have decided to step up, stand up and speak out and be a voice for those who feel they don’t have a voice. #csasurvivor #standingforjustice Click To TweetI choose to stand for justice for all those who have suffered sexual abuse. Not necessarily justice in the way of bringing the perpetrators to justice, although that would always be a better outcome. It’s also justice for survivors and the way we are treated in every day life. Whether in church or in hospitals or in our work setting. By doctors, nurses, pastors or our boss. The list is endless.
When we release the experiences of what we have been through in our lives, it is crucial to our healing to be treated and responded to in the right way. My experiences I have had over the years when I have shared about my past have varied quite a lot. I have found very few people really know how to react or treat a survivor of sexual abuse. People have either ignored, laughed at, or played down my experiences. People feel awkward and just don’t know what to say.
My experiences I had this last week with an endoscopy procedure is a classic example of what victims and survivors of abuse face on a daily basis. I wrote a thread on Twitter about what I went through and asked a few questions to see if I was alone in the way I felt. The sad thing was, I wasn’t.
The nurse asked me before my procedure if there were any questions. The endoscopy made me feel anxious. I shared with the nurse why I was anxious and mentioned I was sexually abused as a child. It took me a lot of courage to mention it to her. During the procedure I really struggled and started to panic. Afterwards, I asked the nurse if she had said anything to anyone. Her reply? She felt no need to.
What?? She felt no need to?
This left me feeling invalidated. How could you not feel the need to? The whole idea of me mentioning my sexual abuse was to feel reassured – especially if I panicked. I felt totally the opposite.
By God’s strength I managed to pluck up the courage to speak to a senior nurse. I expected to be sidelined and passed off with some excuse. What happened next had me in tears. She listened. She actually listened. Every word I spoke she took in and was so reassuring. And then she apologised. It was not her doing, but she apologised.
This is what should of happened in the first place. The system needs to change. People need to change. Anyone in a position where they tend to people’s wellbeing needs to know how to deal with trauma.
Far too many people have suffered when they experience sexual abuse. We shouldn’t need to carry on suffering afterwards. This is why I stand for justice for sexual abuse survivors.
