Tag Archives: Motherhood

Challenge Is An Understatement

25th September 2019 Lynne 4 Comments

Every single day there is a question someone always asks me. It doesn’t matter if I am walking my kids to school, going shopping, or having a routine visit to the doctors. It’s always the same question…

“Are they twins?“

My devious brain wants to reply back with a quick quip…

“No, actually, they are quads but the other two are left at home”.

Instead, I just smile and nod my head. I’m hoping I can get to where I need to go before the next question gets asked…

“They must be hard work. Aren’t they a challenge?“

A challenge is an understatement - looking after twins

When I respond with the fact my babies are actually children number four and five, eyes open wide with shock. I say looking after my other three children when they were younger was more of a challenge than the twins. (I had a three year old, a 23 month old and a newborn by the time my son was born).

How hard is it really?

Often, people ask how hard it must be. My response has been to disagree with what they have said. I bravely put on a smile and make out everything is hunky-dory. However, deep down inside is a completely different story.

Yes, my twins are a challenge. Yes, it is hard work. I don’t want to admit that though. Who wants to admit they are struggling? And when people ask if it’s hard work, do they really want to hear the truth?

Challenge is an understatement

I underestimated how hard looking after twins was going to be. Twice as hard doesn’t even come close to it.

“Having twins is not twice as hard—it’s exponentially more difficult”
Natalie Diaz, author of What To Do When You’re Having Two and CEO of Twiniversity

I knew what to expect with having three children previously…the sleepless nights…the constant screaming…the never ending feeds. Well, I thought I knew what to expect!

Sleepless nights are taken to a whole new level when two babies are crying. The constant screaming is like having surround sound with the volume turned up! And as for the never ending feeds…I never realised how much milk would be needed. And what goes in must come out, right? Well, let’s just say babies seem to have a way of doubling everything that goes in!

It may be a little bit more than twice as hard, but the blessings I have far outweigh the challenges. I get double the smiles and twice as much love. This is what I try to remember when the going gets a little tough. I’m getting a little help to remember this truth by reading through Becky Keife’s new book “No Better Mom for the Job”.

As a floundering mama with bags under my eyes big enough to prove my lack of sleep, I made a choice to stop fixating on a deficit I had no power to change. After all, God is pretty set on the whole twenty-four hours in a day thing. Instead I decided to concentrate on what was fully within my grasp: my ability to give thanks.
I started to retrain my focus from what stressed me about being a mom to what blessed me.
Becky Keife, “No Better Mom for the Job”

Can I suggest that if you need a little encouragement, go and pre-order Becky’s book? Raising little ones is not easy. In fact, it’s down right hard work. Sometimes it feels like it’s a lonely job. Am I right?

You are not alone

Becky writes about the ups and downs of being a mother to three spirited boys, and I love how she makes me feel like I’m not alone in the job anymore.

You’re probably thinking right now that you haven’t got time to have a shower these days, let alone sit down and read a book. You don’t need to worry. Becky knows too well what it’s like raising little ones, so she has recorded an audio version of her book too! You get to hear Becky’s sweet voice for yourself.

As a parent I love receiving bonuses, so this one is a fab bonus…If you pre-order Becky’s book before October 1st you get to receive the Audiobook for free! How awesome is that? Order your copy on Amazon or other online retailers today then head over to NoBetterMomBook.com to redeem your FREE AUDIOBOOK preorder bonus!

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This was originally written for the Five Minute Friday Community, where a number of writers gather for a weekly writing challenge around a single word prompt and write to our hearts content, but only for five minutes (or there abouts).

I couldn’t stick to five minutes on this one though. The word prompt though was “challenge”. You can click here to view what other people have written.

Motherhood

Beautiful battle scars of Motherhood

1st March 2019 Lynne Leave a comment

“Wow! You’ve just had twins? You look absolutely amazing!”

This is the comment I often get when I am out and about. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I speak to, everyone says the same thing. Even strangers walking by me in the street. Believe me, when you are pushing twins around in a buggy you very rarely get from A to B without being stopped along the way.

If complete strangers can see how amazing I look, then why can’t I?

On the surface I smile to people and acknowledge what they say, but underneath I cringe and wonder what on earth they see. Do they not see how tired I look? Do they not notice the “curves” on my hips? Can they not see how fat my tummy is?

I’ve never really been one to look at myself in the mirror and think I look beautiful. I would go as far to say that I struggle to think I look ok. Even more so since having my c-section. It’s been difficult to look in the mirror and to be happy with what I see looking back at me.

I see a scar that runs so deep it hurts. It reminds me constantly of how my body lost the battle to deliver my babies.

I failed.

This is the machine that monitors the mother and baby whilst in labour. I could never get over seeing two heart beats being monitored. It’s such a blessing.

I never planned to have a c-section. I was totally against it. Doctors had informed me I should prepare myself for having one. Not only because I was carrying twins, but because I had already previously had a c-section.

I had an emergency c-section before with my first born, so I know what the recovery is like. I certainly didn’t want to go through that again, especially now as I have three other children. But I was so adamant and stubborn. I never entertained the idea a c-section was on the cards, so I never planned for that outcome.

Pain is an understatement.

Before I went into surgery the doctor asked me if anyone had described what having c-section was like. When I shook my head he began to describe what they would do. He said I wouldn’t feel any pain and the feeling I would have whilst they were inside me would be like a washing machine or a tumble dryer going round.

I wasn’t sure what he meant by this, but when they started to pull the babies out and clean up inside me I knew what he meant. I didn’t feel like I was drying clothes though. It felt like I had numerous pairs of shoes tumbling around inside me, kicking me at every turn.

Once the medication had worn off, the pain hits you like walking into a brick wall. It wasn’t just the pain from the scar either. The rummaging around the doctors did inside me left me feeling like I had been used for a punchbag.

When I see my babies sleeping like this, I forget about everything I went through and thank God for the little miracles I birthed.

Moving around felt like an epic marathon and turning over in bed felt like I was taking part in some assault course. It never felt like this when I had a c-section with one child. Having two children being pulled out of me meant I had my insides all rearranged. My rib cage was left feeling like I was being used as the percussion section in a big symphony orchestra.

No one ever explains how painful this was going to feel afterwards. I saw numerous people in hospital having elective c-sections and getting up afterwards like nothing had happened. Why couldn’t I be like that? I felt so helpless. Having a c-section with one child is no comparison to having two children being ripped out of your womb.

When people comment on how well I look, why can’t they see what I see?

Maybe it’s me.

Maybe it’s I that can’t see what they see.

Having an emergency c-section meant that I did not mentally, physically and emotionally prepare myself for what was about to happen.

I had this idealistic view of how the birth was going to happen and I was disappointed when reality set in and it didn’t go my way.

This is what I need to remember…

~My body may not look perfect now, but my babies are perfect. My body will get there in its own time.

~I may have a scar, but it does prove I brought life into this world. I know there are many people who are not able to even experience giving birth. For this I will be forever grateful.

~My body may have failed to give birth naturally, but it survived an ordeal of an operation.

~I survived!

~God made me. He made ALL of me, right down to the intricate details and inner parts of my body. He designed me with much love and care and knew exactly what my body could handle. It says so in Psalm 139.

I hope this post helps someone in some way to give some insight in what feelings may be expected after having an unplanned c-section. My experience may not be the same as the next person, nor will it mean this is what is meant to happen. I wanted to share some of what I went through and what I was feeling in case there may be one other person out there looking for some reassurance.

If what I have written has resonated with you, please feel free to let me know. More importantly, please consider taking some time to talk to some one about your feelings, either a loved one, a friend, or a healthcare professional. It’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling and to receive help when necessary to deal with any issues or feelings which may arise.

Remember, you are not alone. You are deeply loved and wonderfully made.

Faith, Midst, Motherhood

In the Midst of Motherhood

28th January 2018 Lynne 2 Comments

I have already mentioned in a previous post that I haven’t made any New Years resolutions this year. I don’t see the point as it’s just too much pressure to try and keep one. Especially when you’re the parent of small children, right?

Instead, I’m focusing on one word (midst) which I hope will keep me centred throughout the year. This is the first post that I am writing, which focuses on this word, and I hope to write one each month for the rest of the year.

I, of all people, should be thankful for my children. It took me 5 years to conceive to have my first, and she was nothing short of a miracle when she came into this world. But do you know what? This parenting lark is hard. Oh my word! Hard is an understatement.

Continue reading In the Midst of Motherhood →

Motherhood

Motherhood. How hard is it???

13th November 2016 Lynne 2 Comments

MOTHERHOOD IS VERY HARD!!! No-one really sits down to tell you this before you have your first child. No-one really tells you about the lack of sleep that you will have… or that you will have days where everything just seems so hard to cope with that you just want to curl up and cry.

I have 3 children (two girls aged 7 and 6 and one boy at 4 years old). Yes, at one point in my life I could say that I had three kids all under the age of three!

OH MY WORD!

How on Earth did we think that this was a good idea at the time? We often got comments from people that we were either very brave, or just absolutely mad! I am still trying to work out which one we are!

My husband is an only child and he is the last one alive to carry on his family name. I so wanted a boy so that we could do this. Well, third time lucky and I got my wish. And boy, didn’t I know about it. Let’s put it this way…We did originally want a big family and to have 4 children, but having my little man has absolutely wiped me out. Being constantly knackered is no fun. The sleepless nights that I had for the first 2-3 years of his life were awful.

I remember one night it felt like the kids were playing tag during the night and each one were taking it in turns to get up. I had one child awake screaming because she was teething… oh, and did she have a pair of lungs on her! Once she was dosed up and settled, my other daughter woke up coughing and spluttering. She had one of those irritating coughs that once it starts, it just doesn’t stop.

If that wasn’t enough, my son then had a sickness bug and he really knew how to throw up. It was the projectile type of throwing up. You needed to duck and get out of the way before it was all over you. I walked in to him crying and I lifted him out of his bed and it hit me… literally! I was absolutely covered from head-to-toe in vomit. It was horrendous!

I got through those horrendous nights though. It DOES get a little easier. I do get SOME sleep now. Admittedly, there are different challenges now though, and yes, I still find it hard to cope at times. I’m just pleased that I am not where I was 3 years ago…

…Struggling.

It’s hard to admit that, but yes, I did struggle. It’s not easy trying to live up the expectations of a perfect mother. It isn’t going to happen. You just need to roll with it.

I just want to encourage anyone reading this that you are not on your own. Feeling helpless is normal at a time when you are sleep deprived. It WILL get better though. Hang in there. You are doing a wonderful job.

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Beautifully Broke

Tag Archives: Motherhood