Abuse, Faith, Five Minute Friday

Choosing to Heal to Lift Others

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Choosing to Heal to Lift Others
Choosing to Heal to Lift Others

I am taking part this week in the Five Minute Friday word prompt. This is where a single word is given and you write whatever comes into your head about this word. Sometimes nothing comes into my head, so I don’t always take part. Other times I might think of something, but never get 5 minutes to write. When I do write, however, it is because I have something on my heart which I would like to share. 

This weeks word prompt is one of those moments where I felt prompted to share with you. The word prompt for this week is ‘lift’. (Read here to see what other people wrote). In a nutshell, when I think of the word lift, I think of how we can bring hope to other people. This is my rambling thought for this week…

Lift
Lift – Five Minute Friday Word Prompt
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

I share content that may trigger some memories for you. If that is the case, then please seek some help if necessary, and be kind to yourself.

As a childhood sexual abuse survivor, every day I make the decision to heal from the impact of the abuse I suffered. Some days are easier than others and I can process some of the shit that goes around in my head. Other days I just choose not to deal with it. Sometimes it is easier to “box and shelve” it rather than open it up and make a mess everywhere. Then there are the days when everything spills everywhere anyway and I end up in a mess.

Either way, I wake up each morning facing the same decision to make…do I want to heal? And my answer is always yes! Why? Because I want to be able to lift other people up and bring hope to those who have been through similar experiences. I want to be a voice for those who do not have a voice. I want to show to others that it is possible to live after suffering something so traumatic. 

“Bless the world with your mind, heal the world with your heart, lift the world with your soul; elevate the world with your life.”

Matshona Dhliwayo

It’s not been easy

This healing journey I’ve been on has been a challenge. Some days have been so dark it’s been hard to see the light. I’ve often wondered if all this is worth it, fighting for what is right. But when I look at my children, I realise it is. I would never want them to experience what I experienced as a child growing up. No child should experience abuse, in whatever form. 

If speaking out helps a child to say stop, or lifts up an adult to see hope, then it is totally worth going through the pain of healing. I couldn’t have gotten through this healing process though if it wasn’t for my faith, and also the unwavering support of my husband lifting me up. Without these, I wouldn’t have had the grace, strength and perseverance to continue. 

If speaking out helps a child to say stop, or lifts up an adult to see hope, then it is totally worth going through the pain of healing. Share on X
Faith, Five Minute Friday

Going Slow

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When I started writing this on Friday, we were travelling back from our week away in Devon. We were going slow! In other words, we were stuck in traffic. It wouldn’t be too bad if we were just down the road. But when you had been travelling for 3 hours already with 150 miles still to go and all whilst entertaining 5 kids, going slow was not my idea of fun.

However, there was one thing I had noticed. Nature. When I took the time to look up and look out it was amazing what I could see.

Beautiful English country fields
Going slow past Stonehenge
Going slow past Stonehenge
Maize growing in the fields

Isn’t it like that with life though? We always seem to be in the fast lane rushing to get to the next item on our agenda. There is never any time to slow down and reflect on what has happened or what we are heading into.

Lockdown seemed to have slowed things down, but only for a little while. It’s almost like we are now trying to race against each other to get ahead in the game again.

But at what cost?

Going slow is not such a bad thing. I mean, if it was fine for Jesus to go slow (and look at how much he achieved) then it’s got to be fine for us, right? Jesus was never in a rush to do anything. He moved at the pace God set for him (and you know how patient we have to be sometimes when we wait for God). 

And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.  1 John 2:17

When we rush around at the pace of the world around us, we miss out on what is more important in life. If we had travelled at the speed limit we could have done, I would not have noticed the outside world. Going slow helped me to look up and take notice at the small details around me. Such as, the lone tree standing in the field and the vibrant colours of the field.

When we rush around at the pace of the world around us, we miss out on what is more important in life. Share on X

When we continue at the fast paced speed the world sets us, we become unaware of who or what is around us which we need to recognise. Going slow helps us to notice the people who are standing alone in society around us. Going slow helps us to be more sensitive to the injustices that take place in this world. It helps us too open our hearts and be in tune with what God wants us to see.

Something to think about…

Do you feel like you are living life in the fast lane? Maybe it’s time to go slow and examine what is going on around us. Take 5 minutes to stop and listen to what is going on around you. You may be surprised at the beauty you may see, or the opportunities that may cross your road.

Prayer

Lord, help me to go slow. Alleviate my pulsating heart when it feels too fast. Quieten the business of my mind. Slow down the pace of my life. Help me to see the world through your eyes and to notice when others around me are in need. Amen.

This was written for the Five Minute Friday Community, where a number of writers gather for a weekly writing challenge around a single word prompt and write to our hearts content, but only for five minutes (or there abouts).


This weeks word prompt is ‘slow’. Click here if you want to see what other people wrote. You can also have a go yourself. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘slow ’?

Abuse, Faith, Five Minute Friday

Broken But Not Beyond Repair

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Broken

I am joining in with the Five Minute Friday writing community this week. I haven’t written in a while. However, when I saw what the writing prompt was there was only one thing that came to my mind. To tell my story. The word prompt for this week is ‘broken’, and I may have spent a little bit more than five minutes. Click here if you would like to read what other people have written.

Broken But Not Beyond Repair

Broken
Broken But Not Beyond Repair

One of our Associate Vicars gave a sermon last Sunday. It was based on the conversion of Saul when he was travelling to Damascus. Saul’s conversion into Paul would have become one of those moments in history that would have been retold over and over again. Saul’s transformation by Jesus became ‘his story’. It was his story that would have changed how Christianity was perceived forever. 

Picture this. A man who was condemning Christians so much, he would hunt them down and have them killed. This very same man had such an encounter with Christ that it completely turned him around. He now hunts non-Christians down so he can tell them the truth about Jesus and save them. What a story! 

Everyone has a story to tell of how Jesus touches their life. It may not be the flash-out-of-the-sky type of story, but it is a story nonetheless that could change the way a person sees Jesus. 

Our Associate Vicar asked us what our stories are and were we willing to retell our stories for others to encounter Jesus. I would like to say yes, but my story is not an easy one to share. It’s also not something everyone would want to hear. But it is a story that will show others there is hope. If there is anything that I’ve learnt over the past year from this pandemic, is that we all need hope. 

If there is anything that I’ve learnt over the past year from this pandemic, is that we all need hope.  Share on X

What is my Story?

My story is one that tells of a child who felt broken by the effects of sexual abuse. She felt so broken she thought no-one loved her anymore. She felt she didn’t deserve any love. In fact, as she grew older, the shame she carried grew with her. 

I couldn’t trust anyone because I felt so broken. I couldn’t even trust a God who loved me no matter what I had been through. The abuse I suffered completely distorted how I viewed God, and myself. Ultimately, it affected my ability to be able to trust Him and anyone else around me.

It’s been a slow process (nothing like what Saul experienced), but over the years God has shown me how much He loves me. He has shown me it doesn’t matter how broken I may feel inside, I am not beyond repair. It’s not been easy, I won’t lie. I still struggle on a daily basis to accept God’s love and to trust Him. 

One thing I am sure of though is this…I have God by my side through every step of my journey. He will send me His Holy Spirit, not to make me afraid of what is going to happen, but to give me the strength I need so I can step out and tell my story.

With the help of people who God places around me, my healing will continue and I will keep on growing. In the process, my desire is that my story provides a glimmer of hope for someone else going through something similar. 

Something to think about…

Do you have a story to tell? If so, are you willing to share it with someone so they could encounter Christ? If you are a little nervous sharing, why not find a trusted friend to start off with. Telling your story for the first time can be daunting, but with practice it does get a little easier.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the example of Paul in the Bible in the way that you encountered him. Thank you that he was faithful in telling his story to others so that they could encounter you. I pray that you send your Holy Spirit upon us to help us when we need to tell our stories. Give us the opportunities to speak to others so that we can allow them to encounter you just like we have. And if our stories are hard stories to tell, give us the courage to be a voice to those who need to hear. In your name, Amen.

If anything I have written has resonated with you, then I urge you to seek support. Please be kind to you and practice self-care. IF you’re in the US you can reach out to RAINN at 1.800.656.HOPE. If you are in the UK you can email the Samaritans at Jo@Samaritans.org or call them on 116 123 (UK) or 116 123 (ROI).

Faith, God’s Love

God Doesn’t Do Quick-fixes

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Do you go searching the internet if you are in a rush to try and fix something? You’re guaranteed that if you google “quick-fix for….” (fill in the blank) you will find a life hack. Sometimes, these little quick-fixes can be a life saver. 

You can find something to help you in a flash on just about anything. From 11 quick-fixes to re-vamping your kitchen, to the top 10 happiness quick-fixes. I’m sure some of these quick-fixes could probably make a difference, when it concerns material possessions that is.

But what about when it comes to your own happiness and well being?  

The definition of a quick-fix is: an expedient, temporary solution, especially one that merely postpones having to cope with an overall problem.

When you need to focus on your own life and being happy, in my opinion, you’re in it for the long haul. There isn’t really any quick-fix out there that can solve how to be happy in a jiffy. 

Sometimes I wish there were a quick-fix for my faith. I struggle immensely in trusting that God has my best interest at heart. I struggle to accept that God loves me so deeply He would chase after me no matter what. 

Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? Luke 15:4

God spends every minute chasing after those who are lost. He doesn’t cut any corners or apply any quick-fixes when He pursues us. No! He is in it for the long haul. He loves us so deeply because “The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.” (John 10:11)

Something to think about…

Even though I struggle to accept God pursues me like I am His lost sheep, I still feel it is worth waiting for Him to find me. Any quick-fix which claims to be the answer to resolving issues concerning my faith will not ultimately deal with what lies underneath.

I would rather be made completely whole with the love God pursues me with than be temporarily fixed with my faith just holding together by a thread. Surely if God is willing to take time to seek me out, then I should take time to hold fast until He has me in His arms bringing me home.

What do you think?

I would rather be made completely whole with the love God pursues me with than be temporarily fixed with my faith just holding together by a thread. Share on X

Prayer

Lord, I want to pray for those of us who struggle to accept you want to pursue us. You love us so much that you are willing to lay down your life to find us. You chase after us no matter how long it takes. Thank you for never giving up on us. I ask you to send your Holy Spirit on us to tenderly touch us with your love and grace. Help our unbelief, Lord. Amen.

Faith

Is This Really The End?

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As we come to the end of what has been a year we will never forget, I find myself pondering. When the year concludes, or comes to a close, is this really the end? 

We are very quick to say we want this year to be over – I’ll put my hands up to that. It’s been a year that will be remembered for many years to come. But for some of us, or maybe most of us, it’s a year we wish we will never remember. 

As my thoughts start to run away with me, I find myself thinking about Easter. Yes, I know Christmas has only just passed, but bare with me.  

When Jesus was crucified, his disciples thought it was the end. Everything they had been through together and worked towards, this is what it came to.  Their saviour was beaten and rejected and hanging on a cross.

On the face of it, it looked like there was nothing else left to live for. This was the end.

What else is there when it seems everything is over? 

Maybe we feel a little like what the disciples felt as we near the end of 2020. We have experienced loss in so many ways, what else is left? Luckily, we know how the story ended with our Saviour. (Spoiler alert: He Lives!) 

1 Peter 1:3: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

We have just celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ. The birth of Light at a time when all is dark. And because we know that Easter is just around the corner (yes, the shops already have Easter eggs out on sale), we can keep hold of that Living Hope to continue into 2021…and beyond.

Something to think about…

As we reflect on what the year has been, let’s try and look forward to a year that could be, whilst holding on to the new birth of Living Hope we have been given in Jesus Christ. 

If you need a little comfort right now, let this passage from Revelation provide you with some relief. This is my prayer for whoever is reading this. It is a gentle reminder that God wipes away our pain and is making things new. 

Revelation 21:4-5: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Prayer

Lord, gently heal our aching hearts for what we have experienced this year. Many of us have suffered great losses and are struggling to see a way in the dark. Instil in us the Living Hope which we can carry with us in to the New Year. Be the Light we need in our lives right now to brighten the path we walk. May your strength be present in us so we can face what may lie ahead. Amen. 

Encouraging hope in a broken world

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