Category Archives: Faith

Abuse, Faith, Five Minute Friday

Broken But Not Beyond Repair

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Broken

I am joining in with the Five Minute Friday writing community this week. I haven’t written in a while. However, when I saw what the writing prompt was there was only one thing that came to my mind. To tell my story. The word prompt for this week is ‘broken’, and I may have spent a little bit more than five minutes. Click here if you would like to read what other people have written.

Broken But Not Beyond Repair

Broken
Broken But Not Beyond Repair

One of our Associate Vicars gave a sermon last Sunday. It was based on the conversion of Saul when he was travelling to Damascus. Saul’s conversion into Paul would have become one of those moments in history that would have been retold over and over again. Saul’s transformation by Jesus became ‘his story’. It was his story that would have changed how Christianity was perceived forever. 

Picture this. A man who was condemning Christians so much, he would hunt them down and have them killed. This very same man had such an encounter with Christ that it completely turned him around. He now hunts non-Christians down so he can tell them the truth about Jesus and save them. What a story! 

Everyone has a story to tell of how Jesus touches their life. It may not be the flash-out-of-the-sky type of story, but it is a story nonetheless that could change the way a person sees Jesus. 

Our Associate Vicar asked us what our stories are and were we willing to retell our stories for others to encounter Jesus. I would like to say yes, but my story is not an easy one to share. It’s also not something everyone would want to hear. But it is a story that will show others there is hope. If there is anything that I’ve learnt over the past year from this pandemic, is that we all need hope. 

If there is anything that I’ve learnt over the past year from this pandemic, is that we all need hope.  Click To Tweet

What is my Story?

My story is one that tells of a child who felt broken by the effects of sexual abuse. She felt so broken she thought no-one loved her anymore. She felt she didn’t deserve any love. In fact, as she grew older, the shame she carried grew with her. 

I couldn’t trust anyone because I felt so broken. I couldn’t even trust a God who loved me no matter what I had been through. The abuse I suffered completely distorted how I viewed God, and myself. Ultimately, it affected my ability to be able to trust Him and anyone else around me.

It’s been a slow process (nothing like what Saul experienced), but over the years God has shown me how much He loves me. He has shown me it doesn’t matter how broken I may feel inside, I am not beyond repair. It’s not been easy, I won’t lie. I still struggle on a daily basis to accept God’s love and to trust Him. 

One thing I am sure of though is this…I have God by my side through every step of my journey. He will send me His Holy Spirit, not to make me afraid of what is going to happen, but to give me the strength I need so I can step out and tell my story.

With the help of people who God places around me, my healing will continue and I will keep on growing. In the process, my desire is that my story provides a glimmer of hope for someone else going through something similar. 

Something to think about…

Do you have a story to tell? If so, are you willing to share it with someone so they could encounter Christ? If you are a little nervous sharing, why not find a trusted friend to start off with. Telling your story for the first time can be daunting, but with practice it does get a little easier.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the example of Paul in the Bible in the way that you encountered him. Thank you that he was faithful in telling his story to others so that they could encounter you. I pray that you send your Holy Spirit upon us to help us when we need to tell our stories. Give us the opportunities to speak to others so that we can allow them to encounter you just like we have. And if our stories are hard stories to tell, give us the courage to be a voice to those who need to hear. In your name, Amen.

If anything I have written has resonated with you, then I urge you to seek support. Please be kind to you and practice self-care. IF you’re in the US you can reach out to RAINN at 1.800.656.HOPE. If you are in the UK you can email the Samaritans at Jo@Samaritans.org or call them on 116 123 (UK) or 116 123 (ROI).

Faith, God’s Love

God Doesn’t Do Quick-fixes

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Do you go searching the internet if you are in a rush to try and fix something? You’re guaranteed that if you google “quick-fix for….” (fill in the blank) you will find a life hack. Sometimes, these little quick-fixes can be a life saver. 

You can find something to help you in a flash on just about anything. From 11 quick-fixes to re-vamping your kitchen, to the top 10 happiness quick-fixes. I’m sure some of these quick-fixes could probably make a difference, when it concerns material possessions that is.

But what about when it comes to your own happiness and well being?  

The definition of a quick-fix is: an expedient, temporary solution, especially one that merely postpones having to cope with an overall problem.

When you need to focus on your own life and being happy, in my opinion, you’re in it for the long haul. There isn’t really any quick-fix out there that can solve how to be happy in a jiffy. 

Sometimes I wish there were a quick-fix for my faith. I struggle immensely in trusting that God has my best interest at heart. I struggle to accept that God loves me so deeply He would chase after me no matter what. 

Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? Luke 15:4

God spends every minute chasing after those who are lost. He doesn’t cut any corners or apply any quick-fixes when He pursues us. No! He is in it for the long haul. He loves us so deeply because “The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.” (John 10:11)

Something to think about…

Even though I struggle to accept God pursues me like I am His lost sheep, I still feel it is worth waiting for Him to find me. Any quick-fix which claims to be the answer to resolving issues concerning my faith will not ultimately deal with what lies underneath.

I would rather be made completely whole with the love God pursues me with than be temporarily fixed with my faith just holding together by a thread. Surely if God is willing to take time to seek me out, then I should take time to hold fast until He has me in His arms bringing me home.

What do you think?

I would rather be made completely whole with the love God pursues me with than be temporarily fixed with my faith just holding together by a thread. Click To Tweet

Prayer

Lord, I want to pray for those of us who struggle to accept you want to pursue us. You love us so much that you are willing to lay down your life to find us. You chase after us no matter how long it takes. Thank you for never giving up on us. I ask you to send your Holy Spirit on us to tenderly touch us with your love and grace. Help our unbelief, Lord. Amen.

Faith

Is This Really The End?

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As we come to the end of what has been a year we will never forget, I find myself pondering. When the year concludes, or comes to a close, is this really the end? 

We are very quick to say we want this year to be over – I’ll put my hands up to that. It’s been a year that will be remembered for many years to come. But for some of us, or maybe most of us, it’s a year we wish we will never remember. 

As my thoughts start to run away with me, I find myself thinking about Easter. Yes, I know Christmas has only just passed, but bare with me.  

When Jesus was crucified, his disciples thought it was the end. Everything they had been through together and worked towards, this is what it came to.  Their saviour was beaten and rejected and hanging on a cross.

On the face of it, it looked like there was nothing else left to live for. This was the end.

What else is there when it seems everything is over? 

Maybe we feel a little like what the disciples felt as we near the end of 2020. We have experienced loss in so many ways, what else is left? Luckily, we know how the story ended with our Saviour. (Spoiler alert: He Lives!) 

1 Peter 1:3: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

We have just celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ. The birth of Light at a time when all is dark. And because we know that Easter is just around the corner (yes, the shops already have Easter eggs out on sale), we can keep hold of that Living Hope to continue into 2021…and beyond.

Something to think about…

As we reflect on what the year has been, let’s try and look forward to a year that could be, whilst holding on to the new birth of Living Hope we have been given in Jesus Christ. 

If you need a little comfort right now, let this passage from Revelation provide you with some relief. This is my prayer for whoever is reading this. It is a gentle reminder that God wipes away our pain and is making things new. 

Revelation 21:4-5: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Prayer

Lord, gently heal our aching hearts for what we have experienced this year. Many of us have suffered great losses and are struggling to see a way in the dark. Instil in us the Living Hope which we can carry with us in to the New Year. Be the Light we need in our lives right now to brighten the path we walk. May your strength be present in us so we can face what may lie ahead. Amen. 

Faith, Five Minute Friday

God Holds Us In The Hard

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Having a baby is not easy. There are countless nappies that have to be changed. And then there’s the never ending feeds. The worst part though is the constant disruption to sleep. Being woken up during the night when you are in a deep sleep is not easy to cope with, especially when a crying child needs settling. 

The other night I was woken up abruptly by the sound of one of the twins screaming. No amount of milk or pain relief would soothe her. All I could do was just hold her in my arms tightly close to my chest. I would just keep whispering in her ears, “don’t worry, everything is ok. Mummy has got you.”

Whilst I was holding her and soothing her, I came to the realisation that this is how God is with me. Going through the trials I am facing right now provides a whole heap of pain. It doesn’t matter how much pain relief I try, such as scrolling through Instagram, having a glass of wine or binge watching on Netflix, it doesn’t take away the pain. 

What helps to relieve my pain is knowing that God has hold of me during my hard times. He is gently whispering in my ear “don’t worry, everything is ok. Daddy has got you.”

He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart.  Isaiah 40:11

Something to think about…

I love my sleep, very much! But do you know what? I love my babies more. I know the season I am in is a hard one, but I also know it isn’t going to last forever. What does last forever is God’s love and how much He will hold me.

If you feel you are going through a painful time right now, take heart, dear one. Fall into His arms and let Him hold you tightly. 

Prayer

Lord, when we are surrounded by so much uncertainty, let us be reminded by the truth that you are the One who is certain in our lives. When we are in pain, hold us in your loving arms and instil in us a peace that only you can provide. Thank you, Lord, for being there no matter what. Amen.


This was written for the Five Minute Friday Community, where a number of writers gather for a weekly writing challenge around a single word prompt and write to our hearts content, but only for five minutes (or there abouts).

This weeks word prompt is ‘hold’. Click here if you want to see what other people wrote. You can also have a go yourself. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘hold ’?

Faith

His Grace Is Sufficient

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My church have been amazing during the lockdown period providing for people’s needs both practically and spiritually. One of the ways they have met our needs spiritually is by providing a daily reflection which takes place three times a week through their YouTube channel. People from church have provided us with words of encouragement and wisdom during a period that has been hard to navigate at times.

Someone at church then approached me to see if I wanted to provide a thought for their daily reflection. Being given this opportunity was exciting, but it was also daunting at the same time. What could I possibly provide that may be able to help others through what they are experiencing? I find in these moments, God has a way of showing us what He wants others to see. This post is the result of What God has shown me through this lockdown period. To see the YouTube version click here.

His Grace is Sufficient

I bet we have all had a wide range of feelings during this Covid-19 crisis. At times we have probably felt angry with the situation we are faced with. Or maybe you have felt sad. Maybe there were times when you felt nervous or anxious about the unknown. Sometimes we may have even had a little cry and experienced all sorts of emotions in between. 

And it’s all ok. Everything we are feeling is all ok. There is no wrong emotion to feel when we are in the middle of a crisis. What you are feeling right now is the right response to feel, and it’s OK. 

At the end of the day, we didn’t see this crisis coming. It came upon us so quickly and we were thrown into a whirlwind of dos and don’ts. There is not one person who has not been affected by Covid-19. We may not have been physically affected, but certainly the restrictions that were put in place would have had an impact on us immensely. 

During this epidemic, I have found myself experiencing a range of emotions. From feeling happy and content when I have spent quality time with my family, to feeling extreme frustration when my kids cannot get along with each other. Life is not easy at the best of times. Throw in an epidemic into the mix and you probably have something that resembles my cake making. Absolute shambles! 

We then probably start to place expectations on ourselves because we think we should be able to cope with this. This is new territory though. The vast majority of us has probably never lived through an epidemic. Shops shutting down. Holidays cancelled. Schools closing. Jobs lost. Appointments rescheduled. Our lives put on hold. No wonder we were probably feeling overwhelmed. 

Right at the beginning, I felt so overwhelmed with it all. I had put so much pressure on myself to achieve everything that it nearly all came crashing down. Momentarily, I forgot who I could turn to in times like this to help me get through. I thought I could do it on my own, but I couldn’t. I was on my knees one day and just cried out, “I can’t do this anymore”.

As I knelt there feeling overwhelmed, that’s when I felt a gentle touch saying “You don’t have to”. It’s in our weakest moments that God shows His greatest strengths. When we feel weak with pain or stress, that is when we can expect God to reveal Himself. 

It’s in our weakest moments that God shows His greatest strengths. Click To Tweet

Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians chapter 12:9:  

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Something to think about…

Living this life we have takes more than human strength. We can only get through this by the grace and power of God. Don’t do what I did and wait until you are on your knees crying out to Him. Take time now and ask Him to come into your heart. You will be amazed at how God will come into your brokenness and shine through those cracks in your life. 

Prayer

Lord, I know I am weak. but I also know that you use my pain and weakness to show your amazing strength. Please give me the knowledge that your grace is all I need. Help me be proud of my weaknesses, because they will show your strength and protection. Shine through me today, Lord, so that others may see the amazing power you can give. Amen