I have decided to write about what comes out of my mouth! No, I’m not referring to spit…or even food. I’m referring to foul language and dirty innuendos! For anyone who knows me, you are probably thinking, “you don’t swear that much…not really!” I suppose, compared to some people I know, I probably don’t. I do have a “dirty mind” though. What do I mean by that? Well, I could be deep in conversation with people about the most innocent of subjects and someone would say something that I could completely take the other way and put a sexual connotation on it. What’s so bad about that? As a Christian, what comes out of my mouth really matters, whether it may be the mildest swear word going or taking another meaning to something else. 
In my last blog I wrote that I had been having headaches. I still have them, but they’re not as bad though, which is good. I’ve now stopped counting the days! After a few weeks of going backwards and forwards to the doctors, and getting medication that did nothing for the headaches, I went to see a different doctor. He told me that I had a lot of stress and tension in my back which is travelling up and causing the headaches. What I needed was a good massage and rest! Far better than pain killers. Anyway, before I got the final diagnosis, my frustration was growing. I wasn’t handling things very well and I so wanted to explode. Well, I did! Not by shouting at my children though, or getting irritated with my husband. I swore! And it wasn’t just to a few friends either, but more or less to the whole world on Facebook! Ok, maybe not the whole world, but to all my friends that bothered to read my status.
I used some colourful punctuation marks to hide a few choice letters. I thought that this would be a little more acceptable to use instead of actually writing the word. How wrong was I? Not only had I probably shocked a few people, both Christian and non-Christian friends, but I deeply hurt someone I love. This is not me. I knew it was wrong to do and this is not the person I was and is certainly not the person I want to become. I felt really ashamed of myself afterwards for writing it. Here I am, trying to be a godly woman, trying desperately to do what is right by God in order to help others, and I failed. I am deeply sorry to those people I hurt, especially to those that I love.
A tiny part of me was being a little rebellious. A Christian being rebellious? Surely not! Well…yes…it is possible. We are only human, but this still doesn’t make it right though. OK, so I said a few choice words. This may not be such a big deal to some of you, but for me as a Christian it is. At the end of the day it shouldn’t really pass out of my mouth. I used my pain as a ‘get-out’ clause for swearing. I am responsible for my own actions though. Using other words in place of a swear word, or colouring it up so it doesn’t look so bad, still brings the audience to see it for what it really is…a swear word. It doesn’t matter how I disguise it, it is still a swear word. My motive was still the same whether I wrote it nicely or not. As a Christian, this is not what the Holy Spirit wants.
Ephesians 4:29-31
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Do you know what though? Me being a Christian does not mean that I won’t stumble and say a different meaning to something or not swear again. Of course I will stumble…I’m only human at the end of the day. I just need to remember to pray to God if I feel angry or upset next time and ask Him to guard what comes out of my mouth…or from my hands to the computer!
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips”
(Psalm 141:3)
