Tag Archives: Abuse

#notmyshame, Abuse

Break the Silence

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I know all too well the weight of silence and the stigma of shame with being a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). However, the shame is not mine to hold. It is time to break the silence. With that in mind, yesterday, I donned on my #notmyshame t-shirt with a sense of purpose.  

I shared on social media an insight into why I wore my t-shirt…click here to view it.

As I nervously stepped through the hospital doors, I felt a sense of pride as I thought about the change I might spark. The words emblazoned on my chest felt like an outcry against the shadows of shame.

As I navigated my way through the hospital, I noticed the glances, the curious whispers, and the hesitant stares. But I stood tall and remembered the purpose of wearing my t-shirt. Yesterday was not about hiding; it was about breaking the silence.

In the Waiting Room

I could feel the different reactions towards what I was wearing. No-one spoke a word. They didn’t need to. In my mind I hoped for conversations to spark. I could see what they wanted to say in their eyes.

One nurse softened her face towards me and her eyes seemed to be filled with empathy. A gentleman with his eyes wide open looked to be in shock. When I caught a glimpse of him staring, his head quickly turned with that “stiff British upper-lip” look on him that resonated with disdain.

My name was called. As I entered the room I could see in the doctor’s eyes that he was a little uncomfortable about my message. But amidst all of this, there was a small change that surfaced. When it came to examining me, the doctor without question, called in the nurse to chaperone me. This has never been asked of me before. For the first time, I felt there was a seed of awareness that had been planted in his mind and it made him recognise that I had a need. 

For the first time, I felt there was a seed of awareness that had been planted in his mind and it made him recognise that I had a need.  Click To Tweet

For the first time, although I didn’t speak, I felt heard. In those moments, I felt a sense of power knowing that wearing the t-shirt had ignited a sense of understanding. The journey towards breaking the chains of shame is not without its hurdles, but with every moment I wear the #notmyshame t-shirt, it gives me strength and paves the path for others to follow and break the silence.

On the 1st May 2024 the NotMyShame global movement will mark the power of authentic voices from around the world, turning the tables on the silence and shame of Child Sexual Abuse. To learn more about this movement please click here.

Faith, Write 31 Days Challenge 2021

31 Days Of Bible Affirmations – Day 22 – I Am Free

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31 Days Of Bible Affirmations - Day 22 - I Am Free
31 Days Of Bible Affirmations – Day 22 – I Am Free

I have the honour of introducing you to an extraordinary woman who I have come to know and admire and will be guest posting for me today . June Smothers has a love for God that is so fierce. She wants everyone to know this and experience the love God has for themselves.

June has a passion to help others learn to speak the truth, in love, just like Jesus. She wants to create a safe place for those who are broken. Like myself, June has a special place in her heart for survivors of sexual abuse and also for those struggling with mental illness.

Continue reading 31 Days Of Bible Affirmations – Day 22 – I Am Free →
Faith, Write 31 Days Challenge 2021

31 Days of Bible Affirmations – Day 15 – I Am A Mighty Warrior

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31 Days of Bible Affirmations - Day 15 - I Am A Mighty Warrior
31 Days of Bible Affirmations – Day 15 – I Am A Mighty Warrior

I Am A Mighty Warrior

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.” “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the LORD has abandoned us and given us into the hand of my Midian.” The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
Judges 6:12-14

There has been a calling in my life which I have felt for a long while.  (I have previously shared that I have chosen to stand for justice for all those who have suffered sexual abuse). I also knew that my calling was going to be a battle fighting against the status quo. With this in mind, and knowing what odds I am up against, it’s only natural to feel inadequate. 

There have been lots of times where I have felt overwhelmed by what lies ahead. So many people are blind to what is going on around them. Some of which, sadly, is by choice. Others choose to ignore because that is what is easiest. 

When I am faced with the enormity of what I am up against, part of me is scared to make myself known. I feel a little like Gideon and question God if He’s got the right person. It would be so much easier to slip quietly back into the background. 

But God sees me as a mighty warrior.

So how do I keep going in this battle? With God of course! I can’t fight this battle on my own. However, God believes in me and He knows what I am capable of. Also, with God beside me and His strength within me, I can do so much more. I am a mighty warrior – watch out people! 

Something to think about…

Why not have a go at personalising Judges 6:12-14 and re-write in your own words what you feel God is saying to you. You could also use my version and change to your own name.

Lynne, I am with you, mighty warrior. You do not need to doubt yourself. I know there is a big battle out there, but you need to remember I am always on your side. You have my strength which I have given you. Use it in my name, mighty warrior.

Something to listen to…

If you enjoyed reading my thoughts on today’s Bible affirmation then why not catch up on my other thoughts for previous days.

Faith, Write 31 Days Challenge 2021

31 Days of Bible Affirmations – Day 14 – Songs of Affirmation

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31 Days of Bible Affirmations - Day 14 - Songs of Affirmation
31 Days of Bible Affirmations – Day 14 – Songs of Affirmation

Songs of Affirmation

On the days when it’s hard to focus and everything feels like it’s caving in I listen to worship music. Music is a great way to help lift the soul and to bring us out of the dark times. I find listening to songs of affirmation really help me to regain my thoughts to shift my focus back to where it should be. I have listed below a few of my go-to songs that help lift me up.

Lauren Daigle – You Say

Lauren Daigle’s music is really powerful, but ‘You Say’ especially speaks to me when I struggle to believe who I am in Christ. Let these words especially sink into your heart today…

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
Shattered – Blanca

This song for me describes exactly what its like to be a survivor of sexual abuse. It’s also a beautiful reminder of what God can do for us when we feel we are at our lowest of lows. He can restore!

How Deep the Father’s Love For Us – Stuart Townsend

This song sums up exactly what God did for us to show us how much he actually loves us. Stuart Townsend has written beautifully how much Jesus suffered on the cross and how much pain was inflicted. It brings to mind for me that Jesus knows how much pain we have gone through ourselves. Yet he chose to die to take all this pain away.

Who You Say I Am – Hillsong Worship

As someone who didn’t see their dad much growing up because he was too busy working, this song speaks to me. It shows me how much God loves me as His own child.

If you enjoyed reading my thoughts on today’s Bible affirmation then why not catch up on my other thoughts for previous days.

Faith, Write 31 Days Challenge 2021

31 Days Of Bible Affirmations – Day 11 – I Am Heard

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31 Days of Bible Affirmations - Day 11 - I Am Heard
31 Days of Bible Affirmations – Day 11 – I Am Heard

I am Heard

In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.
Psalm 18:6

It can be hard to hear when someone you care about has suffered from sexual abuse when they were a child. How you react towards what they say to you can have a big impact on them. Being heard is the most important thing as a survivor of sexual abuse. It provides validation, which is an essential part in the healing process.

On Friday 10th September, I took part in an initiative called The Truth Project. This was set up by the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse. It is where survivors speak about their experiences of sexual abuse and how it has affected them later on in life.

The project also looks at how organisations deal with survivors on a day-to-day basis. The hope is that through people sharing their experiences it will be used to help promote change within the government, organisations and people’s views. Further information about the project can be read here.

When I spoke to the facilitators who were involved in The Truth Project, I felt heard. But not only did they hear what I spoke about, but they actually listened (this is quite an acquired skill). I spoke for two and a half hours about everything. EVERYTHING! They were compassionate and understanding and yet sensitive towards me in what I shared with them.

For the first time in my life I felt truly validated.

This is probably how David felt when he wrote Psalm 18. David cried out to God for help when he was distressed and God met him in his hour of need. He probably was down on his knees letting everything out that he felt and experienced. He most likely did an ugly cry too! And that’s ok. God takes us however we are, where ever we are and when ever. He has no limits when we need Him to hear us.

God takes us however we are, where ever we are and when ever. He has no limits when we need Him to hear us. Click To Tweet
Something to think about…

Why not have a go at personalising Psalm 18:6 and re-write in your own words what you feel God is saying to you. You could also use my version and change to your own name.

Lynne, I hear your cries of despair to me. I see your suffering and your pain. I am here and I am listening to you. Wherever you want to call on my name I will be here.

Something to listen to…

If you enjoyed reading my thoughts on today’s Bible affirmation then why not catch up on my other thoughts for previous days.