This was me last week under the covers, with the fire on. I was feeling a bit fed up and sorry for myself with constantly not feeling well. I just wanted to get better. I wanted to be able to get up in the morning and feel like I hadn’t got something else wrong with me.
I apologise right now if I come across a little bit moany or ungrateful. I know that I should be thankful for the health that I do have. I know I’m not dying. I’m just saying how I feel at the moment, which is just a little bit crappy really. I’m just being honest.
I am 95% there now with my back and it’s great to be able to walk properly again. I can now keep up with the kids a bit more, which is kind of important when you are trying to catch them at something…and walking up the stairs doesn’t take me half an hour now!
I was ill last week though with a cold, topped off with an ear infection in both ears. Dizziness… headaches… sneezing… feeling sick… earache… sore throat… aching… I think I will stop there!
I was trying to work out earlier when the last time was when I actually felt fit and healthy. You know where you can bounce out of bed and feel on top of the world. I think it’s been a little over a year now to say the least. It feels a bit ridiculous, and frustrating at the same time, that I always have something wrong with me – and it’s been for so long.
Have you ever felt like that?
It’s been one thing after another. And honestly, when you feel a little bit under the weather, it is hard to feel positive. My friends probably look at me and think, “what’s wrong with her now?” I know I do!
There is something keeping me going through all this though…my faith. My faith gives me perseverance to carry on. I’m not saying it’s easy and that I don’t struggle, coz I do. Oh my word, do I struggle. So much so, that sometimes all I can do is just cry and shout out to God.
Shout out to God? Yeah, I shout at Him…I tell Him EXACTLY how I feel. Why not? That’s what He’s there for after all.
When you are trying to look after yourself, and you have three little ones around you that are not well either…well, it’s blinkin’ hard! But somehow, I cope. I might not feel like I am at the time, but I do get through it. I can only believe that God is providing me with the grace and strength that I need to get through each day. He will never give me more than what I can cope with. I know that.
If you are going through something right now, and you are finding it hard to cope, hang in there. You may not feel it right now, but God is there right beside you…and He will not let you fall.